Begrudgingly, I hauled the last garbage can to the curb. The cold, night air of mid-November accompanied me, making me curse my weekly ritual and my own foolishness at neglecting to don a coat. As I turned to return to the warm embrace of the indoors, I noticed the morning paper lying unopened on the driveway. With a sigh, I picked it up to add to the already full can, but as I did so I glanced over the headlines. Upon reaching the Weather page, something caught my eye. A meteor shower was due to pass by at roughly 11 o’clock at night until four in the morning. I scoffed at the foolishness of waiting around simply for some rocks to go flying by, and without another thought, I chucked it into the bin.
I checked my watch on my way back to the door and saw that it was already 10:48pm, so I shrugged my shoulders and figured “What the hey, I’ll stick around for the next twenty minutes or so.” Besides, it would give me another excuse to avoid my homework that was due the following morning. I stared up at the sky intently for a while, finding my anticipation growing with each passing minute. After several minutes with no sign of anything, I began to grow frustrated with nature not instantaneously gratifying me. At 11:00pm sharp, I expected some celestial “On” switch to be thrown and the heavens to perform tricks for my amusement. Instead, I found myself growing weary of staring upward and tired to the point of sleepiness.
My eyelids grew heavy with exhaustion and I let out a customary high-pitched yawn when a great light flashed before my closed eyes. Quickly I snapped them open and instantly wished I hadn’t. A truck turning onto our street had chosen to drive with his high-beams on for whatever reason and I was momentarily blinded. Blinking to clear my vision, I turned my gaze to the sky once again, but all I could see at that moment was a great purple blob obscuring my sight. I rolled my eyes and stamped my feet to regain feeling in them and headed inside.
As I signed onto Facebook to see that nothing new had been posted, I fell back into my chair to wallow in despondency. After a few minutes of sitting there, I heard the loud bang and rumble associated with the heater being turned on, followed shortly by a yell from downstairs “Close your damn window! It’s cold in here!” I groaned as I lifted myself out of my chair and as I reached for the window, I stopped myself. My room is constantly the wrong temperature, whatever I want it to be, it’s frequently not. Thus, with the heater turned on, I knew it would probably reach unbearable temperatures and force me to leave. Pondering this, my hand brushed against the screen, giving me an idea. I pulled on the tabs and removed the filthy construct from my window giving me free access to the outside. I reached inside and grabbed a sweater and stepped out onto the roof, sliding the window shut behind me. I no longer wished to be inside and deal with inside problems, meteor shower or no, I simply wished to sit and stare and do nothing for a while. It had been a while since I had been on the roof and just looked up, I had forgotten how big the sky really was.
It was well past the 11 o’clock scheduled start, so I figured I’d see at least something. All that I saw was a single engine plane lazily turning circles over the mountain in the distance, perhaps some pilot out for a night flight to clear his head as well. Suddenly I felt very alone upon the roof without the warm glow of my computer and the faint buzz of electricity to keep me company. I flicked my phone open and considered calling someone, but snapped it shut and dismissing the foolish notion, nobody would be awake at that hour and certainly wouldn’t care to be bothered by something as trivial as a seemingly non-existent meteor shower. I puffed out my cheeks and blew out a long breath, watching the pale cloud drift off into the sky and slowly dissipate into nothingness. I closed my eyes and wished for a change, something to bring me comfort, if not joy.
Suddenly a solitary meteor blazed across the sky on its journey to places unknown and most likely uninteresting. My breath caught and I watched in mute amazement as it winked out of sight as abruptly as it had appeared. Watching that icy chunk of rock burning through the atmosphere comforted me, its beauty reminding me to just let some things be. In that moment, I was happy. Shortly thereafter, another appeared and another, until they were as raindrops falling across the sky. Albeit, very sporadic and peculiar raindrops, but raindrops nonetheless.
For the next few hours I watched as the meteors danced across the heavens; a thousand wishes streaking through a diamond sky. I thought of the countless others miles apart taking time from their own lives to stop and simply look upward and wonder at the infinite majesty of the heavens. In that moment, I did not feel so alone.
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Behold this kingdom that I roam
The sun crowned king in verdant throne
O’er fields and trees in stone and earth
I walk this path to find my worthIn arcadian wilds, unseen I tread
‘Til the distant West whispers instead
An empire divided before the fall
My lamentations made no sound at allResolute to grasp a fleeting hold
If steadfastness within could unfold
But the day will come, the fated stumble
I watch as all my kingdoms crumbleAchievements cascade from broken bough
Descending, faltering, to winds avow
Reduced to naught, statues to dust
Honors to apathy, medals to rustLong shadows linger, a dance with fate
Where the trail bends and dreams conflate
I yearn for strength, a resilient stand
For life, for love, and a healed landAmidst the brush and rivers flow
The wild tapestry in radiant glow
The seasons to blooms, fated evolution
I seek in the quiet my absolution -
The blistering fires of summer have passed, the sun baked escarpments rise, great fists of stone jutting from the earth charred and blackened, a monument to the wrath of the inferno’s passing.
So we slip into the stolid season of decay, the trees shed leaves and lifeblood in the howling gales, their fruit discarded or withered on the branch.
The crows quork and scream their exultations, a feast to behold before their greedy eyes. Their wings quavering in anticipation, they jostle and fidget for prime position, their quarry marked for consumption.
Down on the ground, the world turns in torpid squalor as the barren, gnarled limbs reflect a macabre mimicry of our affliction.
The core is infested, swollen and turgid with rot. Worms burst forth, their squalid squirming roiling the froth of effluvia. The frost limned hearts prefrozen against the coming chill, the sickly rays of daylight fall empty and impotent, their death each eve crumbling before the oppressive night.
The winds shift, the aptly named Diablos bring promise of dry despair, zephyrs zip through the desiccated deciduosity, moaning their banshees wail and leading to the gates of hell.
And yet…
A trickle, a faint whisper of a promise of hope. The aroma of petrichor fills the air.
A drip.
The world waits with bated breath as the grey mottled sky looms thick with clouds, pregnant with their bounty, their deliverance.
A drop.
Eyes downcast, flicker with a guttering light. To my sonderous delight, the lights begin to flicker and swell.
The deluge breaks with insistent glory, the skies weep for the dead, for the living, for us all.
The dirt and detritus washed away, the air made clean and the sins absolved, the flames of our hearts roar into a conflagration of congregation.
The only defense against the coming dark is the fire we alight in one another.
Strangers wave and wish good health, their masks muffle their words but the crinkling at the corners of their eyes cannot contain the cheer.
Screens alight with unfathomable resolutions, the customary feasts carried out by proxy as we seek shelter from the storm.
Though the land is burned and destitute, new seeds take root. Though the soil may be cracked and hardened, new buds form to burst through the ashes in glorious rebirth.
We have been pushed and tried my friends, stretched beyond our limits. There is a fire burning across the land that keeps us from our loved ones, from our jobs, our way of life. But we are not alone, this I say, you are not alone. The heartfire of the hearthfire burns ever bright, but through distrust and fear, selfishness and greed we shall perish.
Through love and respect for one another, we shall persevere. There is light before us, and a promise of a new year to come. -
Beneath the sun’s warm and languid rays
Behold!
My friends, come bask in the grand displays
Carrots, pumpkins,
Acorns, squash
Radishes shine bright
The strawmen stand in vigil
Against the crow’s delightThe orchard wears its colors
Their vestments rich and deep
Sweet apples hang upon the limbs
In breezy, gentle sweepThe trees are heavy laden
Bowed ‘neath full season’s toil
The bounty of the produce
Reaped from the loamy soilLeaves a riotous cacophony
Green, ocher, red and yellow
The crisp is air tinged with petrichor
And with a muted sorrowThe secrets whispered softly
To the mournful gales
A frost limned shadow veils
The cool and verdant trailsIn October’s amber waves
The final harvest yields
Parsnips, broccoli, yams
Jewels of the fertile fieldsIn this grand symphony of nature
We find a wondrous morn
Where harvests joyous blessing In our hearts is bornCast aside these woes
Dear, please do not fret
Let us unite hearts in cheer
For it is not winter yetSave the jams and jellies
In cans preserve below
And open up the casks
Come let the cider flowNow gather round companions
Let the welcome never lack
By warmth of one another
Let us hold the darkness backNow keep the hearthfire stoked
We celebrate this boon
The table’s set
Our tongues are wet
Let’s toast the golden moon -
When I close my eyes, she opens hers. I can see her, looking into the mirror of the gulf that divides us. I remember the way her lips form the letters of the words she’s trying to tell me, but I can’t remember the sounds. Each second of a syllable is a snapshot frozen in time, the zoetrope rotates around and around repeating the same pattern but their words are lost to the cosmic roar, forever diffusing throughout the continuum.
I see her upon a hill, I stand with her, in her spot displaced by generations. She stands, hand outstretched toward the sunset battered clouds, baring their bruises of purple and pink as the light disappears beyond the witch-wild horizon. Through her fingers – golden streams of light trickle like a stream expelling its lifeblood down the ancient channels that shaped it, carried it, nurtured it from birth. Emerald sheafs of native grasses bow in playful repose to the gently shifting zephyrs.
A seed planted at her feet in days of youth, she rests her hand upon the sapling as I sit in the low slung branches and contemplate the lives we’ve lived, the roads we’ve traveled to end up overlooking the same ever changing valley. A seed in her time, a tree in mine as the aether of existence courses along its xylem sentience.
Seasons crash like moth’s wings around her shoulders, icicles shattered upon the frozen ground and dust swept silently upon a flitting filigree. The stillness of a summer sojourn sends twisters tearing through time to my terrible temporary torpor.
She stands atop the hill, the dying rays of sunlight streaming through her fingers as she languidly lounges along the river of inevitability, flowing from one instant to the next in a steady, even course. She turns and smiles at me but I was never there, I’m further along the course naturally, but I am looking at me through her eyes a hundred years past to a present in a hundred years future.I open my eyes and I’m alone, but she has closed hers and looks through mine. This is the world she thought she’d never live to see, this is the life that follows the pattern of the cyclical weaves that repeat each instance again and again but never the same as before. The life lived a hundred years distant follows the same stream, snags in the same eddies, all that’s changed is the date, which has changed everything. She turns to leave the hill and I stay to watch a while longer. The stars arrive to bear mute witness to the ages and generations between us, our lives separated by no more than a glimmer by their reckoning. The wind catches her dress and whisks her down the hill, the silent flurries caress her shoulders and nip at my cheeks as her hand brushes against the young tree whose boughs I’ve climbed to seek my solitude. The sun exits with a deep, formal bow, a grand finale punctuated by the drawing of a cape to reveal night’s majesty. The air is warm and humid, resting in gorged decadence from the day’s bounty. She left with the sweet scent of Spring in her step, I smell the rich, amber aroma of loamy Autumn with mushrooms hidden beneath the deciduation of Summer.
Our course is a river, one tributary to the next our lives wend and roam soaking up colors from the palette of the wilds. The branches snake off innumerable, us in essence but we are not those paths, those lakes and streams belong to the we who followed a different choice, once made and made a million times more. But our path, one path with countless variations, tethered by a tree, by a seed planted in days of youth. I sleep and I dream her life, or perhaps she sleeps and dreams mine.
-
Somebody somewhere, maybe even someone you know, is still awake.
Somebody somewhere is writing to remember
Somebody somewhere is drinking to forgetSomebody somewhere, maybe even someone you know
Is languidly lounging in the afterglow of a perfect day
Meanwhile, somebody somewhere is wondering if tomorrow will be betterSomebody is driving, somewhere is home
Somebody is getting ready for work,
Dreaming of somewhere far from here.
Somebody is asleep, curled and cozy in a cavern of covers
Somebody is pacing, restless, begging for rest to comeSomebody somewhere is picking up the tab,
Somebody somewhere is down to their last few dollars
Somebody somewhere, maybe even somebody you know, is out of optionsSomebody is praying, somebody is playing, somebody is fixing a snack
Somebody is running, somebody is walking the dog, somebody somewhere
Maybe even somebody you know, is looking to the starsSomebody is feeling small, somebody is feeling ten feet tall
Somebody somewhere is hiding, somebody is refusing to go back
Somebody somewhere is still pushing forwardSomebody somewhere is mourning, somebody is getting a call,
Somebody somewhere just felt their first contractionSomebody somewhere is wondering what life could be like
Somebody is wondering what life could have been
If only, if only, if onlySomebody somewhere is dancing like nothing else matters,
Somebody somewhere is waiting at a red light
Somebody somewhere is doing both at the same timeSomebody somewhere is feeling alone
Somebody has never felt closer to anyone
Somebody is packing, planning, picking, practicing, preparing
Somebody somewhere is doing none of those thingsSomebody somewhere is realizing that somebody somewhere else
Is living a life just as rich and full as their own, that to them they’re somebody somewhere
Maybe even somebody they know
Somebody somewhere is thinking of you -
I left the stories untold
In a little green book
Scrawled notes on a life
In search of a hookEvery line scratched out
On a star crossed night
Every failure shone
In a bright white lightAll these pages I wrote
Then tore apart
All these words inside
Can’t capture my heartWill I shed this skin
And all of these lies
Will I dance again
With tears in my eyesEach verse a leyline
To a past bittersweet
In the silence I long
For the rhythm and beatThese lost melodies
Once set me free
I’ll let them resound
In the core of meSo I’ll move to the sounds
Of a once known height
And I’ll paint with words
A new soul’s delightAnd these sounds will heal
All the scars I have shown
So I’ll still dance wild
Even if I dance all aloneThrough the dark and the pain
I will find my own way
I will never give up
And I’ll greet a new day -
Underneath the city’s hum
Where shadows blur the night
I felt the weight of pavement pressing
Saw no end in sightStreets that stretched like tangled threads Lost in the neon’s gleam
Left me chasing empty glimmers
Of a half remembered dreamSo I left behind the chaos
Traded buildings for the sky
Left behind the metro line
To where the quiet liesFound a road of winding whispers
Through the forest deep and green
Where the air was thin and honest
And the heart could finally breatheEvery step on loamy trails felt like
Coming home again
Like the trees were ancient friends
Who’d been waiting through the rainIn the repose of the sun flecked trail
Where the earth and soul collide
So too my clarity, anxiety
My wandering spirit did confideHere the tension eases lighter
Entwined with the gnarled oak
A reminisce of a distant peace
In the branches twist’d baroqueAt trails end I find a swing
Shaded by the distant light
I find comfort, cares unburdened
In the wonder of the sightSo I sit upon the swing
And begin to kick my legs
Maybe I’ll find some inner child joy
In the pendulumic swayBut still I struggle with the loneliness
My chipped marble sacrifice
A stolid time-worn monolith
Pocked by avarice and viceNow my life is woven
With these threads of love and pain
Is it too much to ask
For a dream I could attainI don’t want to fade
Upon this swing beneath the leaves
Until I’m just a memory
Carried by the whispered breeze -
I stand opposed to night’s embrace
And shine this light in sodden grace
For wanderers of nocturnal deep
I bear the light, their souls to keepFor in my soul this light resides,
A beacon steadfastly abides
In my weakness the light grows strong
And fills the void where shadows longI’ll carry on and hold this light
By flicker’d gleam I find my sight
I’ll hold back the darkness and the gloom
‘Til daylight comes or find my doomAmidst the trials borne ‘neath the skin
All the fear, despair we hold within
Let not the anguish find its turn
Light the wick and burn, burn, burn