“Excitement! Only $49.95. Got a birthday coming up, wedding or grand soiree? Liven it up with a little bit of Excitement, $49.95!”Sean stared medially at the photo of the two girls with manic joy written on their faces. The smiles seemed as manufactured as the emotions in the bottle they came from. He turned and threaded his way through the milling crowd that had gathered to browse through the hawkers’ wares.Hands grasped onto his polo shirt suddenly, the weight of another person pressed against him.A woman dressed in a motley collection of grimy rags was grabbing at him. It was impossible to tell her age through the stringy hair and desperation caked on her face as she pleaded with him.”Just a few dollars sir, just a few. They took my daughter away, I need to see her again and we can all be happy, happy, happy. Just a few dollars, just a few” she moaned, clutching at him. When he brushed her aside, she grabbed onto the next person close by. People shifted away but only so far as to not be grabbed by the wretch, still checking their watches and looking for the bus to come.The man who was currently being accosted said nothing, he stared straight ahead catatonically. Giving her money wouldn’t make her go away, it would just make her bother the next person in line anyway. Her “daughter” was likely Dopamine, GABA, Oxytocin, Serotonin, or the odd Endocannabinoid and could be found in a myriad of bottles and colors on every street corner. Local pharmacies carried the same with a prescription, although those were only available to those who had exhibited clear suicidal tendencies and the only clear indicator of suicidal tendencies these days was a successful attempt. The coroner wagons patrolled as often as the street sweepers. Eventually she gave up and stumbled away, wailing her lamentations.The bus arrived, punctual as always. Sean shuffled aboard with the rest of the gathered riders.The bus deposited him a block from his townhome. As he walked the rows of uniformity, he let his mind wander. His neighbor was watering the plants in front of her house, a sprightly little garden of summer vegetables, a popular choice among gardeners who saw them for their utilitarian value. Sean waved as he walked by, his neighbor returned the gesture, autopollenization drones buzzing around her hand. Their exchange held no warmth, it was merely a tradition clung to from a past no longer remembered of what normal used to be.Sean set his keys down as he walked into his house. Sensing his presence, the TV flickered to life as he set about making his dinner. After the required 30 second government public service announcement, the channel turned to the news based on his preferences. “Something easy tonight,” he thought as he measured out a cup of rice into his rice cooker. He was too tired to make anything complicated, too budget-minded to order delivery.”We didn’t always use to be like this. We used to laugh and sing and play without a care in the world,” came a voice from the TV. Sean looked up as he sliced the protein block into smaller medallions.A representative of the Post Progression Party sparred with her interviewer from the comforts of their respective overstuffed chairs.”There are a lot of people out there in the world that blame your generation for the present state of things. Do you have any words for them tonight? Any message for your accusers?” the interviewer asked.The woman wrung her hands as she considered, then took a breath and said “We were numbing ourselves long before the world took away our ability to feel. If we had been more mindful of the changes happening in our environment, maybe we could have seen…”“So your party is asserting that the changes are environmental,” interjected the perfectly composed interviewer.“What else could it be? We’ve been trying to control nature for so long, sooner or later nature responds in unexpected, even violent ways. We’re in our seventh year of the latest megadrought, isn’t it possible in our quest for new agriculture we’ve pushed too far, spliced one gene too many times?”The camera cut to the interviewer, a look of artificial shock and surprise drawn upon her face, as if she hadn’t heard this position before.“So you’re saying the blame lies with our hardworking scientists-”“I didn’t say-”“Scientists whose hard work and dedication gave us the Florida seawall,”“I didn’t say anything-”“Scientists who, when Brown Thursday killed one-third of the crops in the American west, engineered the Kelpmeat forests that feed millions around the globe! You’re going to spit in their faces, that this catastrophe is a result of their ineptitude?”“Can I speak? Can I-”Sean changed the channel to the weather. The conversation had run its course, it would just be them talking over each other until the commercial break. People generally didn’t like hearing when they had wrought their own destruction.The screen populated with weather events from around the country. He pointed his finger at the left corner of the TV for Local and the screen was overtaken with notices and warnings. Mild UV flares were expected over the next week, SPF 400 sunblock or level 1 environmental suits recommended. He made a checklist on his wrist PDA to pick up another suit. The disposable ones were bulky and uncomfortable, but he couldn’t afford the climate controlled versions, and that much sunblock left him sticking to surfaces all day. Sean set the TV to auto-scroll through his preferences.He returned to the kitchen and finished cutting the meat then started chopping a vinion. He turned on the stove top and coated a pan with agave oil and pulled a bag of frozen kelp strips from the freezer. That would be enough for tonight.From the other room, the TV was showing a recap of the daily sporting events. The plastered smiles of the sportscasters oozed with Excitement. Although not technically illegal, they were still a controlled substance and there was a stigma against the artificial mood enhancers, even though they were the only way to feel any positive emotions anymore. However, anyone who still attended sporting events these days was assumed to be upping on one thing or another.For some though, it was too much. The news always had one or two stories of someone who got a hold of Joy or Bliss for a graduation gift or birthday and the neurogenic shock was too much for their system. They cheered themselves to death. Some said it was the preferred way to go.The meat sizzled in the pan and Sean dumped in the vegetables, then tossed his biodegradable spatula into the compost bin. Every night it felt like the whole world was holding in its breath, waiting for something to happen. He turned and looked at the framed painting on his wall. A single lily in a pond, beautifully and delicately rendered. The art scene these days was a mess, pieces were either rigidly conformist, attempting to emulate the exact style of former generations, or they were Blissed out chaos, wild with reckless use of color and tone. Sean’s painting fell into the former, a facsimile of a long dead painter named Monet. Every night he studied the brush strokes, the fine lines between the edges of the flower and it’s dark surrounding waters.Rose had painted it. He asked her once why she hadn’t chosen the subject of her given name. She said “Would I be happy then, if I were a lily? Everywhere I look there are roses scattered, but what if I was someone else? Would I stop feeling like a stranger in an imposter’s skin?” Sean didn’t understand, but he wrapped his arms around her because she said she liked it when he did that. Rose nestled into his warmth.“There aren’t any more lilies, or roses for that matter. Only you.”She sighed. “Then it’s important that I choose my subject correctly.”He stared at the painting, tracing the velvety curves of the edges as they dipped into the broad, fat strokes of the water. He felt it was important to hold on to, so he never bothered to take it down. He became aware that his hands were on the locket again. He pressed the clasp and the locket snapped open to reveal two hidden tablets of Love. Ages had passed before that painting. Sean opened his mouth to speak her name, to speak the long forgotten countenance of the life they had once shared, but his words made no sound at all.The flower was always there, unchanging, unmoving. Those brush strokes wrought in indescribable emotion so long ago were forever trapped within the confines of the frame. He couldn’t love it. If he wasted one of his remaining tablets on a night of passion, it would still be hanging there in the morning, a grim testament to his enduring loneliness.The smell from the stove let Sean know his dinner was done. He snapped the locket closed and plated his food. He sat at his two seat table and began eating in silence.
Tag: fiction
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When I close my eyes, she opens hers. I can see her, looking into the mirror of the gulf that divides us. I remember the way her lips form the letters of the words she’s trying to tell me, but I can’t remember the sounds. Each second of a syllable is a snapshot frozen in time, the zoetrope rotates around and around repeating the same pattern but their words are lost to the cosmic roar, forever diffusing throughout the continuum.
I see her upon a hill, I stand with her, in her spot displaced by generations. She stands, hand outstretched toward the sunset battered clouds, baring their bruises of purple and pink as the light disappears beyond the witch-wild horizon. Through her fingers – golden streams of light trickle like a stream expelling its lifeblood down the ancient channels that shaped it, carried it, nurtured it from birth. Emerald sheafs of native grasses bow in playful repose to the gently shifting zephyrs.
A seed planted at her feet in days of youth, she rests her hand upon the sapling as I sit in the low slung branches and contemplate the lives we’ve lived, the roads we’ve traveled to end up overlooking the same ever changing valley. A seed in her time, a tree in mine as the aether of existence courses along its xylem sentience.
Seasons crash like moth’s wings around her shoulders, icicles shattered upon the frozen ground and dust swept silently upon a flitting filigree. The stillness of a summer sojourn sends twisters tearing through time to my terrible temporary torpor.
She stands atop the hill, the dying rays of sunlight streaming through her fingers as she languidly lounges along the river of inevitability, flowing from one instant to the next in a steady, even course. She turns and smiles at me but I was never there, I’m further along the course naturally, but I am looking at me through her eyes a hundred years past to a present in a hundred years future.I open my eyes and I’m alone, but she has closed hers and looks through mine. This is the world she thought she’d never live to see, this is the life that follows the pattern of the cyclical weaves that repeat each instance again and again but never the same as before. The life lived a hundred years distant follows the same stream, snags in the same eddies, all that’s changed is the date, which has changed everything. She turns to leave the hill and I stay to watch a while longer. The stars arrive to bear mute witness to the ages and generations between us, our lives separated by no more than a glimmer by their reckoning. The wind catches her dress and whisks her down the hill, the silent flurries caress her shoulders and nip at my cheeks as her hand brushes against the young tree whose boughs I’ve climbed to seek my solitude. The sun exits with a deep, formal bow, a grand finale punctuated by the drawing of a cape to reveal night’s majesty. The air is warm and humid, resting in gorged decadence from the day’s bounty. She left with the sweet scent of Spring in her step, I smell the rich, amber aroma of loamy Autumn with mushrooms hidden beneath the deciduation of Summer.
Our course is a river, one tributary to the next our lives wend and roam soaking up colors from the palette of the wilds. The branches snake off innumerable, us in essence but we are not those paths, those lakes and streams belong to the we who followed a different choice, once made and made a million times more. But our path, one path with countless variations, tethered by a tree, by a seed planted in days of youth. I sleep and I dream her life, or perhaps she sleeps and dreams mine.
-
Michael Sorensen yawned and looked out the window as the sun set over the city skyline. An idyllic, inspiring view if it hadn’t been through the filthy windowpane of the 52 bus scratched with illegible graffiti and profanity. The bus crested the hill and began its slow descent back into the seedy underbelly of the east side. Michael glanced at his wristwatch and sighed. It would be a long walk no matter which stop he chose. Homes on the upper east side weren’t the sort of places where busses were welcome. Nor were people of his income bracket, but he had an assignment.
Michael stretched and pulled the cord to request the next stop. Maybe he would dip into his discretionary funds and take a cab back. The only thing he knew was he wanted to be alone with a beer and the second half of the baseball game when this was all done, but couldn’t decide if he wanted to be at home or out somewhere. Sometimes solitude is better with people around.
Michael stepped off the bus and began walking up out of the miasma of exhaust, grime and despondency. The yellow-orange sodium vapor streetlights had just flicked on in a sardonic imitation of the sunset in the distance.
As he walked, Michael flipped open his notepad to review his notes and rehearse his interview questions. He flipped through the pages absently and shrugged his canvas jacket more into place. He had a funny feeling about this assignment. His editor had received a phone call earlier in the day and told Michael it was a pressing matter, sending him out after hours to get the story. “If it was such a big deal, why is he sending me?” Michael wondered to himself. He scratched at the day’s stubble on his chin. Well, anything was better than the usual crackpots he normally interviewed. Michael’s section of the newspaper was called The Pulse, originally intended to be up to date with upcoming events, celebrity news and entertainment but all that had been taken over by the TimeOut section. The Pulse was pushed to page 10 where nobody read it or cared and it consisted of editorials, rumors and barely reputable sources. Still, it hadn’t been cancelled and this was the first time his editor had cared to actually send him on a scoop. Maybe this was a test. Maybe this was finally his ticket out of the back pages. Michael wanted to be a sports reporter, getting paid to watch baseball and write about his favorite players like Ozzie Smith and Steve Sax, but with only an Associates degree in journalism under his belt, he was going to have to pay his dues first.
Tonight’s meeting was with Professor Sef Akele, an Archaeologist who was apparently good friends with Michael’s editor from long ago. He had just returned from a dig of “utmost importance” from the Atacama desert but could say no more over the phone. Michael wasn’t sure what that was supposed to mean. Archaeologists spent their time digging up things thousands of years old, if it was important the front page would carry the story and if it was a mild scientific curiosity, the Science and World column would run it in the Sunday edition. How would an archaeology find fit in with his usual fare of spurious and dubious content Michael wondered.
The shadows grew long as Michael approached the address listed. The tall, thin red brick buildings with their brown trim crowded together up and down either side of the street. The front steps of each house were lined with precisely manicured hedges and shaded by rows of elm trees gave the neighborhood a quiet, classic charm.
Michael walked up the steps and rang the buzzer while exhaling noisily to mentally prepare himself for the meeting. The intercom crackled to life.
“Yes?” a man’s voice queried.
Michael held down the button to respond “Professor Akele? My name is Michael Sorensen, I’m from the Times?”
“Ah yes, come in.”
The door buzzed and Michael pushed it open and stepped inside. There were stairs immediately in front of him and a shoe rack with a dozen shoes and a plain wooden door to his right but no one in sight.
“Uhh, should I take my shoes off?” Michael called, nudging the rack with his foot. He didn’t know much about Italian leather or suede, but surmised that each pair on the rack was worth about a month of his salary.
“Shoes off, if you please” came a voice from upstairs. It was warm and smooth, with a slight clipped coptic accent like a warm hazelnut espresso in a paper cup on a cold night. No, a cappuccino, with cinnamon sprinkled on the foam. Michael could smell something brewing upstairs with a hint of foreign, exotic spices. He hoped the professor offered him a cup of whatever it was.
Michael kicked off his shoes and climbed the wooden stairs to the expansive loft above. The walls were a calming shade of beige which set off the bright cherry floors. Large plush rugs of burgundy, cream and gold paisley patterns matched tapestries on the walls. Display cases of Asian and African artifacts were scattered around the living area behind large, chocolate brown leather couches and chairs.
The professor was busying himself in the modern looking kitchen, all stainless steel with dark granite countertops and red cabinets providing a stark contrast to the clean white walls.
The professor stood up and turned to Michael. He looked to be in his early 50’s with a touch of grey peppering his combed black hair and precisely trimmed goatee. Slight crinkles lined the corners of his eyes; a weathered texture of someone who spent long days digging in the sun betrayed an otherwise smooth, olive face.
“Come in! Come in, make yourself comfortable, I will join you in a moment. Goodness your face is red, I hope it wasn’t too cold outside? Ah, yes at any rate, would you like a cup of coffee? Sit, sit, let me pour for you. Mr Sorensen, was it?”
Michael took a seat on one of the couches and sank into the soft, supple leather and set a tape recorder on the end table. Whatever this interview was going to be, it was already much, much better than any other assignment he’d been sent on.
“Michael is fine” he answered.
The professor came in holding a tray with steaming cups of coffee as well as a plate of cheeses, olives crackers and two large bowls of steaming hot soup.
“Come, try some of the olives. I love Kalamata, I could eat them for every meal.”
As the professor drew closer with the tray, Michael noticed that his cheeks were drawn and gaunt, his complexion more pale in the softer lighting, like he hadn’t been outside in a while. Maybe he had been eating olives for every meal.
As Michael took a sip from the coffee, he realized he hadn’t been asked for cream or sugar, but hints of clove, nutmeg and cinnamon teased his olfactory senses and he realized he didn’t care, it was so much better than the burnt swill of indeterminate age he was used to drinking in the break room at the paper. A man could definitely get used to these assignments.
“So, Sam tells me you’re one of his most promising new reporters?”
That was news to Michael. Sam, the editor had never been more than indifferent to his efforts, he assumed his work on The Pulse was largely ignored by the more respectable journalists.
“Well, I don’t know about that, but if the story is there, I want to make sure it gets told”
Michael trailed off, unsure of what to say, but the professor didn’t seem to be completely paying attention either, his gaze wandered off to the windows against the far wall. Michael continued uncomfortably
“If you don’t mind professor” Michael said as he reached for his tape recorder, “We can get started. Did you want to start with the dig itself?”
“I believe we should start with the soup” the professor said as he crumbled a cracker in his own bowl.
“Please, before it gets cold!”
Michael masked his impatience behind a politely neutral face. Not that he minded a hot meal in a lavish studio, but all the pomp and eccentricity was beginning to make him itch.
Michael reached for his bowl, a thick, lumpy brownish sludge with a swirl of white and a little garnish of thinly sliced red pepper and leek. A hint of cumin brushed past his nose, but was gone in an instant. He nodded appreciatively to his host as he tucked his napkin into his lap.
Michael took a spoonful of the soup, tasting potato, onion, leek and carrot suspended in the butternut squash matrix. It was warm and filling, chasing away the last of the crisp autumn air that had sunk deep into his bones during his walk. It was missing something though. He looked at the platter and saw two unassuming salt and pepper holders with grinders attached at the top. As he reached for the pepper grinder, he saw the professor smiling at him almost expectantly but with a burning passion behind his twinkling eyes. Slowly, Michael brought the pepper grinder back to his bowl and ground a few quarter turns into his soup. He put the grinder back on the table and took a second spoonful. Much better.
“Excellent!” The professor exclaimed, almost causing Michael to tip his bowl.
“I have talked with few other reporters before tonight, some your own colleagues. We have a splendid meal, we talk about minor discoveries or intrigues or perhaps I regale them with a tale of expedition, but not one of them has been right for the task at hand. Do you know why this is?”
Michael shook the astonished look from his face and immediately set his mind to unraveling the puzzle the professor had placed before him. No one else was right for the task? Okay, so he had done something that no one else had done, but they hadn’t even started yet. Something with the meal then. Grinding the pepper was the only thing that stood out, but the whole evening had started on an odd foot, it could be anything. The professor was staring at him, expecting an answer presumably. Best to go with his hunch then.
“The pepper?”
“Hmm, too vague for top marks, but often self reflection is a difficult subject. You’re on the right track though. Yes, the pepper, but it was also the How and Why of the pepper.”
Michael nodded, trying to follow along. “I see” he muttered half-heartedly.
“Do you?” the professor grinned while raising an eyebrow at him. “You may see the puzzle before and after, but not how the pieces fit together. That is alright! We are all in the business of learning, are we not? If not for learning, what else is in our lives?”
The professor trailed off for a moment, focusing on nothing in particular. His grin lost its humor at the corners of his mouth, but just as quickly his attention was back on his guest.
“You see, though many reporters have been entertained in my home, you have been just as polite and gracious as any of them. This is to be expected, you know your trade and it is best to ease yourself into a situation. It is much like cooking, you cannot bend flavor to your will, but rather it must be coaxed out, eased into a perfect harmony with the other ingredients. I ask you, can man achieve such harmony?”
Michael was rooted to his seat, unwilling to risk the manic eye of the professor while he was in fervent lecture mode. The professor continued on without missing a beat.
“You, my most gracious guest, treated with me and ate of my soup. Yet even after observing me crumbling a cracker, even after smelling the soup for yourself, you tasted it. Then, of your own free will, you added pepper, did you not?”
Michael simply nodded, his defenses beginning to pale under the looming shadow of his curiosity.
“This tells me many things. First, you are an observer. This is to be expected in your line of work. You reporters won’t get far without a healthy curiosity. Second, you are unbiased. Even after observing, you took what was before you as it was. Every other reporter sent here has crumbled a cracker, asked for pepper and salt or, heaven forbid, that sluggard from the Post added Tobasco. To my soup!”
The professor was on his feet now, pacing like a caged animal. Michael took another sip of his coffee, fascinated by the antics of the professor so far. He’d never believed someone could get so worked up over soup, but in that minute he believed the professor would have attacked the poor, hapless reporter from the Post who simply wanted a little spice in his dish.
“The impertinence. The arrogance! The fake smiles and the banal conversation, when matters of utmost-” The professor trembled with barely contained fury at his own memory. At once, he became rigid and took a deep breath. He turned and smiled at Michael, all that anger completely erased.
“But it matters not. Third,” he said slowly, putting great weight into his words, “You did not ask for seasoning. You did not ask me to grind the pepper. You simply decided the soup was lacking, which it was, mind you, and you adjusted the flavor accordingly. So is true with dinner, as is true with stories.”
The professor suddenly seemed exhausted, withered. He sunk into his chair, every action heavy and deliberate as if the very act of staying upright were an ordeal.
“You see, what I am about to tell you must not be taken with a grain of salt. A biased mind will not serve in this regard. But once you have my story, it must be made flavorful. It must be coaxed, eased, each ingredient must be in perfect, delicate harmony. One sour note, one dash of spice too many, the public will spit it out. The flavor of this story will not be palatable to most. You must find a way to make it digestible.”
The professor clapped his teeth shut, biting off the end of his sentence and squinting his eyes slightly as if tasting something unpleasant. They sat in silence for a moment, letting the tension settle in the air. Michael ate spoonfuls of soup, careful not to let the spoon scrape the bottom of the bowl and disturb the professor’s reverie.
When he was finished, he dabbed his mouth with the napkin “Well professor, I will do my best” Michael said as he grabbed his tape recorder and flicked it on. “Should we start with the dig?”
“Hmm? Oh right, yes, yes. The dig, ahh the dig. Have you ever dug in the sand Michael?”
Michael stopped, expecting another hypothetical question, but the professor patiently waited for his answer.
“Umm, not really. Not seriously. As a kid I suppose I dug for rocks and roots in the backyard.”
The professor nodded to this seemingly satisfactory answer.
“Ahh yes, the simple pasttimes of youth, believing there is treasure all around us, at the top of every tree or under every fine layer of soil, just ours for the taking. But there is treasure to be found, is there not? Ants and grubs and worms, larvae and roots, there’s life teeming all around us.”
Michael nodded. Most scientists and academics you just had to get them talking and the interview would run itself, but he still wasn’t sure what the interview was about to begin with.
“But in the sands of the great Sahara, Gobi or the deserts of North America, you would expect there’s no life to be found, yes? Oh, there are the nomadic tribes that call those inhospitable stretches home, but even they know the hidden paths to the desert springs and oaises. But life, Michael, life finds a way to survive in those lands. When it rains, you can find all forms of bacteria, microflora and some of the deeper puddles in the Arizona desert contain shrimp. Shrimp! In the desert! Can you believe? Just waiting for the opportunity for a bit of rain so they can live again. Do shrimp pray, do you wonder? Does the sky care for the wants and desires of the shrimp? Do the shrimp hope for rain? Or as droughts and dry spells linger on, do they give up hope?”
Again, the professor turned to Michael, expecting an answer to his question. Michael was beginning to get the sense he knew why this story was being given to his column.
“I suppose they stay buried, so they’re not really aware of the days going by.”
The professors eyes lit up at that.
“Exactly! Buried in the sand, they live on with a hope that there is still hope. It doesn’t matter if they can fathom the intricacies of weather patterns, the rains come and the shrimp reproduce. For one glorious storm, they are alive again.”
The professor settled back into his chair and reached for some olives, popping them into his mouth and chewing thoughtfully. Michael took the opportunity to sip from his coffee. It really was quite delicious.
After a lengthy pause seemed to settle the professor’s fervor, he continued.
“The Atacama desert has no life. Nitrate falls freely from the sky but there is no bacteria to consume it. A land where even bacteria fear to tread. Can you imagine? Bacteria have been found in the coldest, most remote corners of Antarctica. But not in the Atacama. There’s no record of humans ever having lived there. It’s too dry, and there’s far more appealing climates a short distance away. Who would bother?”
“Sounds like the perfect place to hide something you didn’t want anyone to find” Michael mused aloud.
“Exactly!” The professor said excitedly, jumping to his feet and disturbing the table. Michael caught a few olives that threatened to roll off onto the floor and decided they would be more secure wrapped in some cheese. Maybe a cracker too. He hadn’t realized how hungry he was. The professor continued on.
“That was the same rationale as our benefactor, a Mr. Fairmont. He seemed most interested in the region, gravely so. It was as if he expected to find something of terrible importance in that dusty expanse.” The professor drifted off, allowing his gaze to wander over his collection of artifacts, staring past them as if they weren’t even there. All of a sudden he seemed tired, stretched too thin over too many memories.
Michael let the silence draw out between them. Outside the wind was picking up again, causing dry, dead leaves to chatter and scrape along the ground. He shivered at the thought of walking back out into the cold. He wished for a cozy loft like the professor. He thought glumly about going home to his apartment with walls that were too thin, windowpanes that offered little heat retention and a dirty view out into a dirty world. Michael longed for just one adventure like the professor. However, the man had lived a lifetime of adventure and travel and seemed more hollow than a struggling journalist on a crackpot beat. His mouth twisted wryly as he considered how he still had to somehow write out this interview before the night was through.
“It’s so funny, isn’t it?” The professor said, breaking from his momentary reverie, “We fill our lives with so many icons, shrines to our own self importance. Man looks to the skies and we scream our names into the void but all we hear back are echoes of history and dead stars. We’ve sent probes deep into space with details about us. Who we are, where we from. As a species, we needed to send our message. We need everyone to know ‘we were here. We existed’. But who do we think will answer? Our great SETI arrays find more and more evidence we are alone. Do you think this is the case, Mr. Sorensen?”
Michael furrowed his brow and clasped his fingers under his chin, really considering the professor’s question, or really looking like he was considering it. This was all past him and if he was quite honest with himself, he didn’t like thinking about it. If there was life out there, unless it helped him pay the bills, it could stay out there for all he cared.
The professor’s gaze pierced into him, seeking to skim the answer from his soul like fishing leaves from a pool. Suddenly the corners of his mouth turned up into a smile, but one that held no warmth.
“We found something in that desert. Mr. Fairmont’s instructions on where to look and what to look for were surprisingly precise.”
“Who is this Mr. Fairmont exactly? What was his interest in this whole expedition?” Michael broke in, picking up his pen and paper again.
The professor’s smile cracked a bit. “He was a most enigmatic character. He seemed haunted by something, jumping at shadows and a tinge of paranoia in his voice whenever we spoke. He demanded the stones be delivered to him as soon as we returned. Frankly I’m a little glad to be rid of them.”
“Stones?” Michael stopped writing, looking up at the professor questioningly.
The professor let out a long sigh and pushed himself out of his chair. He moved to one of the ornately carved cherry end tables and picked up what looked like old parchment and handed them to Michael.
“These are rubbings we took of the stones we found in the cavern hidden just where Mr. Fairmont directed us to look.” he said as he picked up his coffee and sipped thoughtfully as he stared at a painting on his wall as if really seeing it for the first time. It depicted Christ struggling to carry his cross on the path to Calgary, something one might see in a stuffy museum or in the exact type of loft Michael now sat in.
Michael took the rubbings and examined them closely. The first one showed bizarre hieroglyphics of some sort that Michael had no hope of translating. The second contained a map of what looked like stars and their trajectories, but he couldn’t make much sense of it either. It had photographs attached that showed a cavern with extensive charts beyond the scale of the rubbing in his hand. The last one depicted a large symbol of some sort, a series of concentric circles with little triangles arrayed within it. As soon as he laid eyes upon it, he wanted to crumple it up and throw it away, but the pattern took hold of him, spiraling and burning into his very being.
“These look like something the Mayans would have made, but I’ve never seen anything that felt so…evil.” Michael gasped.
At the last word, the professor’s eyes grew wide and he looked around in fear, hurrying to the windows and drawing the drapes. He set down his coffee and sat on the edge of his chair, leaning in closer to Michael and speaking in hushed tones. Michael recoiled slightly at the sudden shift in mood. The room felt heavier, like a noxious cloud of tension had descended and was filling the room with pressure, threatening to break apart the windows, shatter the walls. He felt it seep into his head and begin to expand from within. He rubbed his eyes to help alleviate the sensation.
“This information isn’t safe to handle. I am sorry to burden you with it. But you had the same reaction I did upon descending into that cavern”
Michael focused on writing, to avoid the professor’s eyes. There was a smoldering fire lit behind them, the burning intensity of a hunted man. Michael subconsciously edged farther away, the question of the professor’s sanity niggling at the back of his mind.
“Please, before we go any further tell me about the cavern professor. You’ve been dancing around the subject all evening.”
The professor popped a few olives in his mouth and chewed thoughtfully and took a deep breath as if bracing himself. A slight chill drifted through the room, though the building seemed far too insulated to let in stray drafts.
“We traveled for only a few days following Mr. Fairmont’s instructions. His missives detailed a rock formation with nothing else around. At the time we joked about drawing a big red X on our map as if this was some child’s treasure hunt. But we found the rocks and began digging. After two days of digging up nothing but harder and harder earth, we broke through the ceiling of the cavern. Oh, how I wish we had never descended into those black depths. It was as if we were being swallowed, our torches and lights only extended a few feet from ourselves. It was as if the darkness was closing in around us, like it was a living being. We had to place lights every few feet to keep our bearings because even the light from the hole in the ceiling wouldn’t reach the floor despite it only being a few meters. The room was, quite frankly a sinister place Mr. Sorensen.”
The professor shivered and closed his eyes, squeezing them shut against his own memories. He snapped them open and continued in the same hushed tones.
“We found the stones at the center of the chamber inside stone chests with old rotted cord wrapped around them as if a last-ditch effort to keep them shut, a final warning to future generations. Of course, we had gone that far already, what was to stop us but a growing sense of dread that nearly overshadowed our curiosity?”
Michael shook his hand to alleviate the oncoming cramp from writing so much and so fast. He picked up his coffee and took a sip before he went back to writing, barely registering that it had become tepid and lukewarm and much of the flavor had seeped out of it.
“Do you have any idea what the writings mean?” he asked.
The professor grimaced at the rubbings before tearing his gaze away.
“We hauled out the stones and carried them with us back to the coast, back home. I contacted several of my colleagues well versed in such matters but their efforts have, as of yet, been fruitless. Of course, Mr. Fairmont’s instructions were to bring whatever we found to his office promptly upon our return.”
“Why did he want them? What is his role in all this?” Michael asked.
“We carted them up to his penthouse and he quickly thanked us as he ushered us out the door. The last thing I remember from our visit was hearing a low groan that no earthly voice could imitate, but at the time I dismissed it as the elevator arriving at our floor. “
Michael nodded as he wrote, flipping to the next page to continue his notes. He made a mental note that he was running out of pages in his notebook as well, he’d have to pick up a new one, but that thought was squashed beneath the weight of the story developing before him.
“Who else was with you? I would like to call some of your companions to corroborate-
“No!”
Michael jumped in his seat and dropped his notes. The professor had left his chair and was looming ominously above him.
“I was told not to share this information with anyone upon my return. I went against those wishes because I believe this can’t be buried in another desert for another several thousand years. But everyone I’ve reached out to since then has stopped responding to my requests. One by one, my contacts grow silent until I’m just reaching out to no one. I fear they are coming for me soon as well.”
“Who? Who is coming for you?”
The professors eyes darted around the room once more and his breath quickened for a moment. Upon seeing nothing immediately amiss, he relaxed visibly but his voice betrayed the tension he fought desperately to suppress.
“There are many secrets in this world. Some are hidden away where only the worthy may find them, some are buried deep where no one should ever find them. Some are so dangerous, they are buried and guarded by forces who have forgotten even what they are watching over. I can’t guess as to the nature of the group intent on suppressing this knowledge or if Mr. Fairmont is an ally to us or to them. But I fear time grows short. All I can surmise is that when we entered that chamber, forces were set in motion to stop us from disseminating.”
Michael stopped writing and looked up at the professor with concern. He rubbed his eyes. The room did seem to be getting darker.
“What is so dangerous about a language nobody can speak and some star charts?”
The professor paused and considered his words carefully. “You are quite right, these are star charts, but not Mayan. Similar, but much, much older and with one crucial difference. None of these stars appear on any chart, Mayan or current. Partial matches occur in some cases, but in others it’s as if entire constellations have been wiped from existence.”
The professor got to his feet and motioned for Michael to follow him. He moved back to the painting of Christ at Calgary and carefully slid it to the side revealing a safe. His hands trembled as he twisted the combination and with a portentous click, the door swung open.
“Come, take my notes, take everything.” The professor grabbed bundles and notebooks and stuffed them into Michael’s arms.
Shadows flickered at the corners of Michael’s vision. He glanced about but there was no signs of an intruder, no silent observer waiting to strike them down. He began to feel a sense of creeping dread wash over him nonetheless.
“In all our research, all our notes and translations, we kept coming across the same two character word. We determined it was a name most foul for the symbol repeated across the chamber, across time. The darkness that draws us in and consumes us.” The professor’s voice was tinged with a manic edge, his eyes wildly scanned the room. He produced a matchbook from his pocket and moved around the room frantically lighting candles to fight back the oppressive gloom that seemed to have permeated through the walls.
Michael began to feel a growing sense of urgency as well, he wanted nothing more than to just drop the notes, drop the whole story and run home. He’d tell his boss nobody was home, he’d try again some other time. Outside the wind was whipping up a frenzy of leaves and the occasional branch rapped against the window.
“What’s going on, professor? What is happening?” Michael asked, swallowing a hard lump in his throat that made his voice quiver.
The professor spun about quickly to face him, his hair disheveled and his eyes inky black pools fighting desperately to drink in as much light as possible. A low whine emanated from all around them, the wind howled outside but it felt as if the storm were in the room between them. Michael blinked and shook his head to clear the sensation. The coffee still sat half drunk where he’d left it, the tray of snacks and delicacies was still laid out in a cheerful and inviting fashion. Nothing moved in the room, but the howling wind seemed to whirl around them. The candles flickered but their light no longer illuminated beyond a few feet around them. It was as if the darkness was closing in around them. Michael strained to peer into the unnatural gloom, his eyes tracking up the wall and he recoiled in horror when he realized he could no longer see the ceiling. The warm, homey track lighting was barely visible, the lights mere pinpricks in a midnight sky. One by one they began to fade and wink out.
The professor grabbed Michael by the shoulders, startling him. He hadn’t heard him move across the room toward him. The professor grabbed Michael’s head and spoke directly into his ear.
“This name, this symbol, this force, this being is not of this world. Even to speak its name is to invite its attention but I fear it is already here. The stars, the constellations, they were how the skies once looked. This…this thing is a consumer of light, an eater of stars.”
The professor began ushering Michael towards the door, looking over his shoulder for an unseen pursuer.
“Are you saying it’s come for us?” Michael asked as they reached the door. The howling wind had reached a pitched roar, the building creaked and protested at the building pressure from within.
The professor shook his head and shouted over the din as Michael pulled on his shoes. His hands were shaking so much he couldn’t tie the laces.
“What I’m saying, Mr. Sorensen is that it may already have us in its sights. The stars we see are the dead remnants of the heavens, circling and spiraling into an unfathomable maw. We are already being eaten! The servants of Sul’gath are here!”
At those words the door flew open and a powerful blast knocked them back. Michael put up an arm to shield himself from the raging fury.
“Go! Before it is too late!” The professor shoved him out the door. Michael turned around and yelled into the screaming gale.
“What’s the point? It sounds like we’re already too late. We’re doomed professor! What do you expect me to do?”
The professor stepped out and embraced Michael. As he did, sinewy black tendrils made from living smoke drifted from the door and wrapped around him. The professor squirmed against their snare and pressed a note into Michael’s hand.
“The chamber has been opened, the beacon of black has been lit, calling to its master. The harbingers of despair have arrived, but He has not. We may still have some hope. Good luck, dear boy. Search for-“
The tendrils snapped taut, yanking the professor back in to the loft. He screamed as he disappeared into the impossible darkness at the door. The streetlights guttered and struggled against the invisible onslaught. Michael stood, jaw agape as the building slowly became shrouded in black, shadows dripped and oozed down the sides from the roof like a viscous, corrupted jelly. Michael tore his eyes away and ran down the street as fast as his legs could carry him.
A few minutes later, Michael doubled over to catch his breath at the bus stop. He wanted to be around people, in warm, well lit areas. His nerves were shot, he was torn between wanting to drown himself in rum at his favorite bar and going home to hide in bed. As his breath returned to him, he sucked in a deep lungful of air to steady himself. He was alright. His mind cleared and he felt bolstered with new confidence. No, not quite. He realized with a start he felt exactly the same as he had when he first arrived, but it was such a stark contrast from his terror mere minutes ago, he felt like a new man. He rubbed his hands together to warm them and noticed his shoes were still untied. It seemed a miracle he hadn’t tripped.
Suddenly a cold realization washed over him. Tripped. Had the food been laced? The coffee maybe? Had any of the evening truly happened as he thought, or had he been drugged by an eccentric nutcase. He opened one of the professor’s notebooks and thumbed through it, searching for any sign of the evil he had described but it was filled with the dry, precise script of an academic describing dig sites, crew progress and daily updates.
“I always get the crackpot assignments” Michael grumbled to himself as he wiped his brow on his sleeve. For some reason his face felt as grimy as the bus that squealed to a stop in front of him. Michael climbed on board and paid his fare, collapsing into the hard plastic seat and resting his head against the window. Maybe he would stop by the bar, just for a beer and a burger. His stomach growled in appreciation, seemingly forgetting the repast not long since eaten.
He shoved his hands in his pockets and remembered the professor’s note. He drew it out and unfolded it. A name and address were scrawled into the paper by a hurried hand.
Fairmont. 1488 Post Ave.
At the bottom, two characters in a long dead language stared up at him and he instantly knew their hateful meaning. Sul’gath.
As he thought the name, a sudden chill seeped into him. He shivered and refolded the note, jamming it back into his pockets. It wasn’t really his problem, was it? It might not have even been real.
He slumped in his chair and blew out his cheeks, letting a long sigh escape from deep inside. Gosh he felt tired. He rested his head against the window and watched the world go by. People hustled on their nightly errands bathed orange and neon blue, the colors of the night. He looked up at the sky and could barely make out only the brightest of stars. The sky really did seem so empty, so devoid of life. He blinked and banished the thought from his mind.
“Maybe two beers” he muttered to himself as he stretched the cold from his joints. As the bus shuttled him away from his encounter, descending back into the chaos of an uncaring city Michael watched leaves catch zephyrs and lazily waft through the chilly night air. He couldn’t help but notice however, as the bus rumbled down the street the leaves seemed to be caught in a spiral, a miniscule cyclone that he could almost swear was following him. -

His heart pounded, a red hot ball of molten iron squeezed in the vice of his ribcage. Cold fire raced down his left arm threatening to consume him. He coughed to clear his airway, ragged and wet spines on the way out, stalagmites piercing the fleshy roof in a concerto of pain on the way in. Blood spattered against the interior of his environment suit. He fell to the hard packed earth beneath a sickly orange sky, tarnished and stained by the scrap metal fires leaching out the precious heavy metals.
“Please remain calm operator 44318. You are experiencing a medical emergency.”
The auto-monitor hovered over him, its singular orb reflecting his agony through the crimson streaked face shield.
“Aid is being administered. Remain still.”
A long proboscis emerged from the floating drone and extended menacingly to the emergency input port on the hip of his suit.
“Remain calm.”
The probe struck lightning quick, stabbing into the open port and into his flesh like a shimmering, silvery mosquito about to gorge on so much exposed flesh, but just enough.
The pinprick stung deep into the muscle and burning embers of pain radiated from the injection site growing into a roaring conflagration that burned the pain out of him, two towering infernos that battled over his charred and desperate corpse.
He knew they’d never let him die.
The probe withdrew its applicator, drops of his humanity still glistening from the tip.
“Treatment complete. Your account has been updated. Total balance now stands at two hundred twenty four thousand eight hundred forty four credits. Calculating…estimated time remaining in contract now twelve years, fifteen weeks, four days and eleven hours. Please return to work in a timely fashion to avoid further time-debt accruals.”
His breath came slower, more even. Solvents sprayed at his faceplate from the inside, cleaning his blood off the transparasteel. He propped himself up with his telescoping boom and saw his vision swim before him. He doubled over and put his head between his legs. He couldn’t let the drone return, he couldn’t take another twelve years stirring blackened bits of waste metal, breaking down the debris into more useful base materials. He dug the forked end into the ground and looked at the mountains of scrap and decay around him. Pole in hand, he imagined Charon on the river Styx, ferrying souls of the damned to their final desolation and torment.
Figures moved through the orangish yellow haze. A small gathering of amorphous blobs like himself stood nearby, other lost souls running out the clock that had been ticking for far too long. Any time one of their number fell, they gathered to kindle the hope that one of them could finally escape, one of them could finally be free of their shackles. They returned to fumbling about with their mindless tasks.
He looked up at the impossibly tall mound before him. Corroded and bent pieces jutted out in millions of grotesque angles, a monument to the sins of a world that had long forgotten him, long moved on to better pastures.
Mars thrived, the high altitude bacteria strengthening the atmosphere and promising an end to the underground shelters and biodomes dotting the surface. The red planet was turning green as sunlight refracted across the manufactured sky and lit up the days in a brilliant emerald, a byproduct of the sun’s distance and light phase shift the climatologists claimed. Soon, children could run outside and lay upon an alien grass and never know the world their forebears had choked and poisoned, never know the hurricanes of smoke and weeks of duststorms that only settled far out over the brackish and congealed oceans, turning them to sludge in a runaway acidification effect, never know the planet where the wretched now toiled in perpetual despair. Too poor to have afforded a place on the great Ark ships that hovered in orbit, too hale to survive the waves of plague and famine that had preceded the perfection of their environmental suits.
The first medibots were promised to be a deliverance from suffering, they instead became the marshals upon the plains of Purgatory, casting all the unworthy souls back into their penance.
He stirred in a nearby pile of ash and soot and the ground shook beneath his feet as a repulsorlift transport skimmed low overhead. He looked away from the bright lights of the fusion reaction that powered the unmanned craft and felt a pang in his chest as teardrops spattered against the inside of his faceshield. As he blinked to clear his vision, he remembered her last words.
They had chanced upon a crashed transport so long ago, its engines firing intermittently in final death spasms. Sirens immediately began whining in the distance and securibots hummed to life to cordon off the area. They saw their opportunity and had raced for it before any of their steel wardens could arrive.
“We go together” she had said as they ran, but he could hear the high pitched screech of the securibots closing in behind them.
“Just go, I’m right behind you!” he had shouted.
“Promise me” she had said as they ran for salvation, “Promise me I’ll see you on the other side.”
“I promise, we’ll be together again soon my love” he gasped as they drew near the blinding flare.
Then she was gone in a flash of light and smoke as the plasma jets from the engine engulfed her. The ground heaved and he was lifted off his feet as a blast of fire and radiation knocked him backwards. He had only been two steps behind her, she had always been faster when they used to run through the sweet smelling fields of poppies in the summer, but the engines coughed and gasped, the light extinguished. The securibots crested the ridge behind him. He staggered to his feet and ran headlong into the wreckage, desperate to follow his wife. He ignored every twinge, every ache and stitch of his many years crying out. His blood pounded in his ears as his feet flashed on the glassy ground beneath him. He launched himself head back, arms spread wide in exultation as he impaled himself on the twisted, molten struts and for a moment, there was unimaginable agony and then a soft, warm numbness as his vision faded.
A sudden gasp filled his lungs and he stared up at the spotless steel orb of the auto-monitor hovering over him. He looked down at the still smoldering repair in his environment suit. He screamed against the ignominy of his resurrection by the prowling observers, his sardonic saviors. She was gone, and he was still here.
“Unauthorized early terminations will result in additional time debt penalties operator 44318. Operator 44317’s account has been added to your own. Your balance stands at one million, four hundred fourteen thousand…” Tears streamed down his face as the auto-monitor had reproachfully droned over him.
Years later, his hands still shook at the memory, her words still echoing in his mind. He couldn’t remember how long it had been, how many revivifications, how many additions and penalties and fees since he had been steps behind her. Throes of panic writhed through him. He hugged his head, desperate to feel his face, his head, his hair again with his own hands. Did he even have hair anymore? He would never know, he would never feel the warmth of another’s embrace, another’s touch in companionship or malice. Only the autoinjectors let him know he was still capable of feeling, that he still had skin.
A sudden pressure and then the feeling subsided. The suit had administered more anti-anxiety meds then flashed a warning that he was building a tolerance and repeated offenses would result in time-debt accrual.
He looked balefully from his valley of corruption. He could stir a pile the wrong way, send tonnes of metal careening toward him, an avalanche of blades and shards and sweet surrender. The suit would protect him, just as it always had. The triple-layered nanex polymer was nearly impervious to rips, tears, stabs, burns, corrosion, explosion, and erosion. In event of a long fall or sudden impact, the nanites would respond faster than the speed of thought, cushioning the blow with the inner gel layer and stiffening into traction to protect the spinal cord. It didn’t matter anyway. The medbots could fix any ailment, any injury, stop the slow ravages of time, even turn back death itself.
He pushed the thought from his mind. He had stabbed and shot and blasted and fired his environmental suit but it was no use. It provided all he needed intravenously: nutrients, medicines, mood enhancers free of charge on major holidays. It was the perfect system to keep him in perfect working health, year after year, century after century until his time ran out, his clock stopped ticking. He lowered his head and got back to work.
-
My legs acted without my conscious involvement, taking flight from my all too insufficient cover towards the door across the street. Our personal machinery had run the numbers and had come to either one of the two available options that is presented to every creature in times of peril: Fight, or flight. Death is an irrational solution to the equation and is immediately factored out by the great machine encased in our skulls, so we stood or we ran.
Death is not a rational function. Death was whistling past my ears, skittering off the ground and howling from the muzzles of automatic rifles. Death was dogging my heels, skipping off the stones in grim frustration as he failed time and again to catch up to me. Death was calling to me, beckoning me to fall and embrace inevitability.
My legs twisted and danced between the bullets, as graceful as any dancer. That is, any terrified dancer that was sweating under the weight of a full pack and the responsibility to defend one’s country.
My breath grew loud and ragged in my own ears; faced with surrounding horror and uncertainty, my body clung to the little bit of order that it could. I reached the wooden door of the small house across the street and slammed into it shoulder first.
I heard a startled cry in a foreign tongue, but I understood it all the same. Fear crosses all language barriers as well as bullets.
Crouching beneath the window, my foe mirrored my shocked expression with widened eyes. From his vantage point, he had a clear line of sight to the rear of my recently vacated position. The position where my friends were still standing, still fighting, still fearing. Briefly I wondered why he didn’t have his weapon drawn, and that’s when I saw the grenade leisurely falling from his hands, dropped in surprise at my sudden entrance.
My eyes flicked from his face to the grenade and finally to the pin in his hands. There wasn’t enough time to scream, I stood stock still, frozen as my opponent fell to the ground and fumbled to remove the ruination from our midst, but the laughing fates took an interest in our predicament and at that moment, turned to waters of time to molasses. Either cruelly or mercifully, I was granted enough time to withdraw within my own mind, and as terror opened its smiling jaws, I retreated further and further until I came to a timeless void. This is where I would stay, conscious of nothing, aware of only myself as my body remained in the room, waiting, bracing for impact.- * *
I watch in horror as the stranger approaches my door. His twisted visage a macabre mockery of human the face of pure, unadulterated fear captivates you with its cold, penetrating gaze; when it looks past your corporeal exterior and weighs your very soul, that’s when you find that you can articulate your feelings with greater elegance as time loses meaning, and you lose track of yourself. Words that you didn’t even know that you knew spring forth and arrange themselves in a delicate yet beautiful pattern that seems tantalizingly familiar yet altogether alien, like some dream half remembered before it happens; as soon as you grasp for it, it disappears as if it had never been. A myriad tapestry of unnecessary and wholly arduous adjectives flow from you as naturally as the exhalation of oxygen you depend upon for survival, an experience I counted to be quite odd.
I was happily in the midst of one such experience when I remembered that I am a living, loving creature whose primary mode of functioning is maintaining its own existence. This notion of survival that has permeated my very soul since the spark of life that God first ignited in me sprang into being. Vaguely I wonder how long I have been apart from myself, transfixed by the sheer wonder of it all and not to be distracted by the mundane happenings of the here and now; how long has it been since I was blissfully ignorant of my body’s own preservation cycle? It couldn’t have been more than a few seconds since I’d run into the room. A man was crouched before me with lines of shock and terror engraved upon his features, reaching vainly for the innocent calamitous little sphere before him that was falling, falling…
I become aware of a distinct pop, and suddenly my ears are overloaded with a vast multitude of air particles assaulting my tympanic membrane. My eardrum holds for the briefest of moments before it gives way to a terrible shriek that tears its way across the limits of my audible perception until I cannot track it any further. As a testament to its passage, it leaves a sharp ringing in my head, a final salute by frequencies that I will never be able to hear again.
The primary wave hit me then, slamming into me like an invisible fist while passing unhindered through my skull and sending ripples of agony throughout the aqueous mass that I use as an anchor for my consciousness. Thankfully, the brain is quite busy with other things at the moment; it files the damage away for later processing.
Presently, I open my mouth but whether it is to unleash a guttural cry of defiance at inevitability or to stand there jaw agape at what could almost certainly be imminent and unavoidable doom is beyond my comprehension. Perhaps it was simply because it had been a while since my last inhalation. How long has it been exactly?
It makes no difference, for just as soon as my mouth fell slack, I close it again as the first shards of shrapnel begin to pelt my face, etching their signature upon my face as testament to their passing, a grim reminder of their brief visit signed in blood.
Through the oncoming cloud I see a horror manifest right before me. It rears its ugly head and smiles at me in a chilling manner. It is a mindless thing, it only has one purpose and that is to consume all until all is consumed, a purpose that this horror seeks to fulfill to the best of its abilities. It has burst forth from its confines and it hungers, lashing out in all directions as it searches for food to augment its power and continue its survival.
I close my eyes as the inferno rips through the air as it makes its way to me, sinewy tendrils greedily exploring the room, feeding the insatiable hunger that drives its very existence along and to the brink of madness.
I feel my feet leave the ground through no act of my own doing. The tongues of fire are upon my face, testing my supple exterior covering experimentally to see if it enjoys the taste. The fire seems to shudder in anticipation, and my skin begins to blister as the fire happily expands its existence by destroying all around it, as natural as breathing.
Time stretches again, and I lose track of myself once more. I decide that it would be better to not be present and blissfully drift back to that place of pure thought, pure emotion and pure vernacular. A lifetime passes, and I distantly wonder why I am still floating in this void, having seen no bright light or slide-show of my entire life, merely flashes of anguish.
Once again, I am rudely and unexpectedly yanked into this reality by my own brain with a deep inhalation of breath. While I was gone and away from myself, the machine that is my body continued to run; it knew what needed to be done even without my involvement.
I wince as my burned and battered form protests to this treatment, but I ignore this sensation and greedily take in as much air as I can stand until I feel fit to burst. The acrid stench of charred flesh and hair mixes with dust and other unpleasant particles, but I take no notice; there’s nothing so sweet as the taste of breath undeserved. My body, the great machine that it is, begins to run a self diagnostic which I delegate to the unconscious. With nothing to do but wait until my body has finished its repairs, I drift back to sleep. Presently, my breathing becomes slow and rhythmic, keeping time with the pulse of survival.